theory – true love is a choice


Yesterday I was talking to a friend who is considering ‘going back’ to her husband.  She was very stressed out, torn, and confused.  I asked her what her heart was telling her.  She didn’t know.  As we talked she expressed concern that perhaps he really had changed, that she felt  needed to do it for her kids, and that it’s been a while…she doesn’t remember…maybe the feelings are still there. 

My heart goes out to my friend, and anyone struggling in a relationship.  Then again, to a certain extent, aren’t we all?  Few of us have perfect marriages/relationships.  They are definitely something that need work.  When the designer came home for lunch, I told him about our friend.  He expressed that the ‘feelings’  really aren’t the big part of a relationship…that they make up only 3 percent of a successful partnership…that the rest is how you treat the other person.

So on this Valentine’s Day, day of love, I submit that it is also a day of choice.  We choose who to love, and choose to care for them, choose to love them unconditionally.  Love is truly a choice.

When I woke this morning, I joined the kiddos and the designer, enjoying ‘The Incredibles.’  I snuggled up to the designer, giving my thanks, for letting me get an extra half hour or so of sleep.  Within a few short seconds, the dancer was snuggling between us, the grower crawling all over me, and the builder snuggling in and wanting a piece of the blanket.

Our love is different these days.  Different than the spicy moments back in Vegas, when our love was new and un-interrupted.  🙂  It is fuller now.  Full of love from so many little ones.  Everyday we choose to love one another and help the love that binds our little family, continue to grow. 

I have two beautiful single sisters that wonder where their prince charming is.  I’m married, though, I’m no expert.  But I do know that a healthy love occurs when two individuals come together by choice, not necessity.  They need no one, for they have their own goals, dreams, and interests.  But their interests, goals, and dreams, somehow collide and they realize that though they need nothing…their lives will never be the same without one another.

Thank you Designer for choosing me.  For choosing to love me despite my follies, imperfections and drive.  I thank the Lord every day that we have chosen to follow this amazing journey together.  I would have it no other way.  Happy Valentine’s Day.  I love you with all of my heart…a true love!

ps.  The photo above was taken during our engagement, by the lovely and abundantly talented, Gayle Jones, producer of Lift Productions (  If you’re in Vegas, call her, she is incredible.  If you’re not in Vegas, she does occasionally fly to shoots in and outside of the country.

3 thoughts on “theory – true love is a choice

  1. Pingback: Pages tagged "the choice"

  2. What a beautiful Valentine’s Day tribute, Katrina. You create such a warm visual image with describing your little family in the morning. It reminds me of the warmth and love I feel with my “designer”. I know that my husband has taught me how our marriage relationship is about how we treat each other. Thanks for being so reflective and helping me do the same.

  3. Pingback: theory - creativity is a choice, 16 ways we create « the daily delights

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