Our lesson in Relief Society today was on the gifts our Savior has given to us and which ones have made a bit impact in our lives. She asked another sister and I to come prepared to answer her question. I haven’t been very good at writing down my thoughts, spiritual learning lately, and have been meaning to write about this for a while now. I shared that I am grateful for the gift of the Lord’s Atonement.
Usually I think of the atonement as a spiritual gift, one that gives us forgiveness for our sins, helps us return to the Father, and a physical one because we will one day be resurrected as he is. When I was very young I was diagnosed with a very rare bone disease. I am so thankful for the years my mother spent looking for a cure and solutions to ease my pain and deformities. Four years of Forrest Gump leg braces, three reconstructive surgeries, and an overwhelming list of physical restraints, I felt it was my battle. And I was fine with it.
What has become so difficult to bear these past few years, is knowing that this battle is not just affecting me these days. It affects my beautiful family. It affects my extended family, and those around me. This is very hard for me. Often I have found myself feeling so guilty for something that is obviously out of my control. The designer is constantly trying to help me learn to let go.
Early this fall, I was given a father’s blessing from my sweet dad (it’s been so long since I’ve had one of those). I’m thankful for his willingness and worthiness to act in God’s name. In the blessing, I was told that through my faith and repentance, that by using Christ’s atonement, my physical body can be healed.
It’s hard to express the overwhelming gratitude I feel. I know that the Lord can do all things, I just thought that I would one day be healed,…when he came. Not necessarily in this lifetime. What a gift. How truly powerful is the Lord’s atonement.
Maybe one day I will no longer need the osteoperosis pills and will find myself running, crawling, or climbing alongside my children without pain. I’m not sure what that would feel like, but how delightful that would be. Again, what a gift is there, for the taking, through my faithfulness and penitent soul.